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Transformation In Georgia

Transformation, there are so many definitions when looking up the word. My favorite one was: a metamorphosis during the life cycle of an animal. So simply put, this definition really speaks to how I feel. Through this definition I imagine life and its stages. Like chapters in a novel, each changes and molds us, preparing us for the next. We gain wisdom through age and experience. All of this equips us to receive or reject the many things which come at us. This most recent season I walked through was about discovery. Learning about when its time to move on and receiving the joy that comes through change. 

The culmination of this last chapter ending and a new one beginning was on a mission trip. Having never been on a mission trip I really had no idea what to expect. Literally  feeling like I was along for the ride, I was thankful to experience a new country and culture with my daughter. The experience of serving along side friends would be priceless.

 Upon arriving and immersing myself in the experience I started to feel a peeling away of layers of what I would describe as old self. I was ready for the metamorphosis, shedding of skin, but didn't really realize how dried up those layers had become. Looking at it now from where I sit, its similar to an onion. The layers were still part of the whole but they were on the outside drying out. Still clinging to the form it belongs too but really losing its vibrance. 

Throughout the mission trip there was an ongoing message which was given. The focus was on Martha and Mary in the bible. Martha was where I was when I entered into this retreat. Pining for attention, my hand raised as high as it could possibly go to make sure I was seen for all I had or could accomplish. By the end of the retreat I became more of what I want to strive to be and that is Mary. Serving quietly at the feet of my King, Jesus. Dedicated and all in. Not looking back or having a check list of all the things to do or what recognition wasn't given.

Along the way through this discovery I met some amazing people who I now call friends. I received so much "bounty" in the process of just showing up and stepping back. It made me realize how fast our society is.  I'd been going so fast that I didn't even know how to be quiet with myself. If I hadn't come to this realization, how could I ever give to someone genuinely of my time and attention. It took me just completely breaking down one evening and crying to recognize I needed to be transformed. The transformation was possible but I had to see myself raw and humbled in order to move onto the next chapter.  

Now that I am in this new chapter the energy and clarity I have is amazing. Its like breathing in new air and seeing with a different pair of glasses. I crave and seek to stay in the flow of this new course I'm on. I realize I was trying to control and take charge of things which I don't have control over. I don't want to be the captain of the boat. I want to be in a seat with an amazing view. Truly embracing the ride the current and not trying to walk up stream just to show myself I can.


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